Leaving who I love, to do what I hate to love.
Leaving Sweden wasn’t as straightforward as I might have made it seem in my first blog. While I thought I’d be prepared for the separation, the reality has proven more challenging than anticipated. I miss my family deeply; their unwavering support and love have shaped me into who I am today. Mom and Dad, words will never be enough to express my gratitude. Your support has been my foundation, and I owe you more than I can ever repay. And Selma, even though I may seem hard and harsh at times I am just trying my best to show my brotherly love. I love you most dearly Selma.
Yet, there’s another person who occupies my thoughts and heart every single day—Ellen. The distance between us is an ache I feel constantly. Ellen, you are the light in my life, with a smile that could brighten the darkest day and laughter that is pure and infectious. I think of you often, and the pain of our separation is a reminder of how much I cherish you.
Facetime calls are a poor substitute for the warmth of your embrace, the joy of spontaneous laughter together, or the simple pleasure of being in your presence. I long to hold you close, to surprise you with flowers, and to show you just how much I love you in every single way possible.
I keep a picture of you on my desk—a snapshot of your beautiful eyes, so uniquely captivating with their hints of green. Every glance at that photo brings both joy and tears, a bittersweet reminder of how much I miss you. I find myself daydreaming about your eyes and your smile, imagining the moment when we will no longer be separated by miles but instead by the closeness of our shared moments.
You’ve also sent me monthly letters, each one a small gift that brightens my stay. The first letter alone brought a smile I can’t quite describe. It’s as if a new language would be needed to express how much these tokens of your love mean to me. Every time I wake up and realize the distance between us, I find solace in the thought that your love is the force that drives me to do better—whether it’s in the pool, in my studies, or in life.
Your love is a lighthouse guiding me through the stormy seas of this separation. I’m endlessly grateful for your patience and the strength you give me. Though we are apart, my love for you grows stronger with each passing day. I can’t wait for the day when we can close the distance and continue our journey together.
Thank you for being my rock, my inspiration, and my joy. Until we are reunited, know that every breath I take, every stroke I make in the pool, and every step I take towards my goals is fueled by the love I have for you.
”How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard” - Winnie the Pooh.
Jag älskar dig, Ellen. Och vet du? Jag är snart hemma hos dig igen. håll ut!
Yours forever,
Gustav
